Why we should play
As a kid I would write stories, record radio plays, press flowers, paint, draw, make models out of clay, build theme parks in the garden, make complicated fantasy worlds for my Barbies, the Playmobil collection, my soft toys, and spend hours telling stories with my Sylvanian families, go to the beach and build sandcastles with moats that the waves would fill in… you get the idea.
As I grew older, of course, a lot of that stopped. It was childish to play with toys, and I wanted to be a cool teenager. In my twenties, I realised I was dividing my creative time between art and writing, and if I wanted to be a great writer I needed to focus on that… so I stopped painting for years.
I picked up a paintbrush for the first time in a long time in 2021 when Auckland went back into lockdown and I didn’t have a job to do from home. Why not? I thought. I’m not getting anything else done!
And I started to paint, and it was fun, and a whole lot of my skills from learning art as a teen came back, and I was able to do nice enough stuff to gift people paintings for Christmas that year. But here’s the thing - why did I feel like I wasn’t “allowed” to paint until lockdown? Until I literally couldn’t go anywhere and had to amuse myself at home?
I’m sure you’ve felt this as well - this idea that we should do productive things, chores, read literary fiction, do the gardening, something productive.
Playing is what we do when we’re kids, after all, isn’t it?
This post is me saying fuck that. We are human beings, and no matter what our age, we should be playing. Stress is the enemy, we know this - it raises blood pressure, makes us clench our jaws so badly our teeth crumble, tenses our muscles, and causes all sorts of maladies. Play, to me, is the anti-stressor.
It’s letting yourself be in the moment, doing something purely for enjoyment, and we should be doing a little of this every single day.
More than that, playing with others builds our relationship with them, and deepens our trust in each other. And trust is a bedrock for respect and genuine connection.
So, with that in mind, think about what you did and genuinely enjoyed as a kid, or a teen, or whenever you remember playing freely. You have my permission to go and do those things! (*If you’re the kind of person who needs permission)
How do I play? Lots of ways…
I lay a blanket out on the grass in my backyard and read, or stare at the sky through the leaves of the shade tree.
I draw muppets and animals and plants, and paint plants and monsters.
I sew, usually patchwork quilts, I’ve been having a lot of fun with scrappy ones made up of leftovers and offcuts.
Take a bubble bath and listen to music I loved as a teenager. (Tori Amos mostly.)
Go for a walk in the park, smile at all the dogs, look for birds.
Read old favourite books, stuff from childhood or from my teen years.
Play Mario Kart, or whatever video game is fun and not stress-inducing.
Watch movies and switch off my brain, don’t try and guess the twists, or whatever, just enjoy it - let it wash over me.
Picnics in the park with friends.
Roleplaying games are a great way to let loose, especially with friends I know and trust, and a game that facilitates fun. (I don’t enjoy gritty, moral-choice or PVP-style games, but if that’s your jam go for it!)
There’s lots of ways to play, so please, make some time and go and do something just for the fun of it.
Must be time for a picnic :)
Neoteny is good for you.